2009 year-end survey

i know, i know.. wala na lang talaga akong masulat dito sa aking muntik sulok sa kalawakan ng internets, kaya ito, itutuloy ko na lang ang aking annual new year's survey para naman meron akong bagong post kahit papaano.

in general, naging maganda naman ang taong 2009 para sa akin. maraming bagong natutunan, maraming mga bagong naging mga kaibigan. maraming bagong lugar na napuntahan. meron ding mga badtrip na eksena, pero sino ba naman ang walang mga ganun, diba?

so eneweis, dahil ito naman ay isa ng annual event, here it is, the year-end survey:

Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

hell, i don't even remember any of the supposed resolutions i would make.. or if i did have any new year's resolution for 2009. :D

Did anyone close to you give birth?

hmm.. well, nanganak na yung wifey ni kaibigang alex mutuc. dude, officially eh KUMPARE na tayo. pero utang muna pamasko ko sa inaanak ko. hehe.

Did anyone close to you die?

si ino, ung chow-chow ng kapatid ko. :(

What countries did you visit?

hay.. no other countries visited this year. miss ko na spain. :(

What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?

driving license. my own car. my first prime lens. :D

What date(s) from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

February xx, 2009 - start of phase of the my baby project in Indra. met the new team members for the project.

March 13 - 15, 2009 - palawan weekend getaway with the girlfriend.

May 1 - 3, 2009 - anawangin weekend getaway with the boys. :D

July 16, 2009 - i found out, officially, that i would not be included in the list of those going to be promoted for the year. sucks big time.

July 18, 2009 - bought my D60. yay!

October 10- 12, 2009 - bohol weekend getaway with the girlfriend for my birthday. next year, caramoan naman. :D

November 23, 2009 - decided to sign up with ideyatech. :P

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

work related, that would be leading a team of 7 members (well, leading them in the technical side, at least) and trying my best to help them out any way i can so that the project would turn out okay and working. hehehe. sana meron naman silang natutunan sa akin kahit papaano. i also got a REALLY GOOD result in my performance evaluations from my project manager.

What was your biggest failure?

hmm.. not being able to notice the problems my younger brother was having. might have prevented some things if i did.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

nothing serious.. thankfully.

What was the best thing you bought?

for this year, it would be my D60 + SB600. yay!

Where did most of your money go?

bills, DVDs, graphic novels, gadgets, out of town trips, bills..

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

the phase 2 of my baby project really got me excited. and also all those trips i had with the girlfriend.. yeah, also the days before i was going to buy my first DSLR. hehe. :D

What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?

"Boston" by Augustana (i know mejo luma na itong kanta, pero sapul lang talaga kasi itong kanta na ito sa pag-alis ko). "Mad" by Ne-yo.

Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? -- happier!

ii. thinner or fatter? -- fatter!

iii. richer or poorer? -- richer! at hindi lang financially. hehehe..

What do you wish you'd done more?

hmm.. probably giving more time to study new technologies that interested me.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

being less of an asshole.. less going to work late.. less spending on stuff. :D

How many one-night stands?

zero.

What was your favorite TV program?

The Big Bang Theory! and Glee!

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

not really.. hate is such a strong word, don't you think? :P

What was the best book you read?

this year would be "Martial Law Babies" by Arnold Arre. and "Y: The Last Man" by Pia Guerra and Brian K. Vaughn (yeah, mejo matagal na rin ito, kaso ngayon ko lang nabasa ng buo eh).

What was this year's greatest musical discovery?

a lot of post-metal bands, like: Cult of Luna, Pelican, Russian Circles.

What did you want and get?

a DSLR! yay!

What was your favorite film of this year?

500 Days Of Summer. Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Watchmen. The Hurt Locker. Star Trek. District 9.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

me and the girlfriend went on a weekend getaway to bohol. i turned 28.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

getting that promotion that i truly deserve, for one. :P

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?

the corporate look.. coz that's what i need to wear every-fucking-day at the office. :D

What kept you sane?

a lot of really good music and movies; a lot of quality time at home with the family and the girlfriend.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

i heart zooey deschanel.

What political issue stirred you the most?

the maguindanao massacre.

Who did you miss?

my dad. as always. and my college buddies, we rarely went out this year..

Who was the best new person you met?

abi corpus. jay juan.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009:

in the words of the philosopher mick jagger: "you can't always have what you want.."

What was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself:

the "goodbye" letter my former project manager sent me to my email contains some of the nicest things someone ever told me about myself (and what i do). i'll miss you boss debby! :(

the most touching experience you've had this year?

the few days after the realization that i was not going to be promoted.. :P

What did you like most about yourself this year?

what's not to like? bwahahahaha! :D

What did you hate most about yourself this year?

procrastinating. pa rin.

Was 2009 a good year for you?

in general, yeah. :D

What was your favorite moment of the year?

the out of town trips. i wish i have more of those this year..

What was your least favorite moment of the year?

it all just keep coming back to that promotion thing, huh? :P

Where were you when 2009 began?

at the roof tops, watching the fireworks display.

Who were you with?

family.

Where will you be when 2009 ends?

probably just here at home.. eating. :D

Who will you be with when 2008 ends?

family. some neighbours, probably.

Do you have a new years resolution for 2010?

hmm.. parang wala na. kakasawa na yan gawin eh. hehe.

What was your favorite month of 2009?

october is always my favorite month of the year. :D

Did you lose anybody close to you in 2009?

nope. fortunately!

Did you miss anybody in the past year?

mostly my dad..

What was your favorite record from 2009?

Crack The Skye - Mastodon

Wavering Radiant - Isis

Geneva - Russian Circles

Year Of The Gentleman - Ne-yo

500 Days Of Summer OST

Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist OST

Glee OST

How many concerts did you see in 2009?

aside from the yearly UP Fair concerts? :)

Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2009?

nope.. i really am not drinking alcohol anymore.

do a lot of drugs in 2009?

no drugs for me, thank you.

you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

yeah, i do.. not that i'm gonna be writing those here.

How much money did you spend in 2009?

A LOT!

What was your proudest moment of 2009?

after receiving my performance evaluations for the year..

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2009?

hah! good thing i can't remember any of those.. hehe..

What are your plans for 2010?

do great on the new job. save up for a new car.

How are you different now that the year has ended?

i feel excited that i'll be working for a new company come january, but also feeling sad coz i'll be leaving behind some really good friends.

What are your wishes for the new year?

new things to learn at work. family business to work out. build better relationships. and my own car. :P

formspring.me

shoot.. http://formspring.me/neilnamoro

long time, no see!

wow. it's really been quite some time since i last updated this site. writing this now even seems so unnatural (maybe a bit forced?) because of my loooong absence from posting. it's not even because i am busy with a lot of things. yes, i do have a lot to do, but even before that was never an excuse.

maybe i just got tired of writing stuff here. maybe because i always end up updating this blog because i need to rant about something, or whine about something. for quite some time, this has just become a venue for the frustrations and disappointments in my life, which i never wanted this to be in the first place. for quite some time, i just ended up looking like another whiny little bitch in the internet.

but yeah, a LOT has happened. well, a lot should have happened for that amount of time, right? wow, my life would be so fucking lame if after all that time nothing has happened.

so yeah, life at the workplace is still the same. been on the same project for quite some time now. thankfully we are on the final stages of implementing the 2nd phase of that project. and after that, well i'm off to my new project. we also have finally settled on the new location of our office. we are now on the 11th and 12th floors of the Rockwell Business Center. that's the new building right beside the Medical City in ortigas. i love the location of the office, i just hated the fact that our wing is not carpeted like the other parts of the office. and since there is still no canteen/cafeteria in our building, i am on packed-lunch-mode since august. well, at least i'm saving up some cash coz of that.

also, i finally able to buy myself a decent DSLR. been practicing a lot with my D60, although i am still quite the noob when it comes to creative photography. the out of town trips i have been through for the past months have also given me some improve my lousy photography skills. i also have been saving up to buy my first external flash-gun, a speedlight SB600. for quite some time i have been torn in either buying a prime lens or an external flash first. but after some discussions with my photographer friends, most of them suggested that i must learn first to maximise my kit lens and buy an external flash to help me with my low-light and indoor photography.

and yeah, since september, i have been in active job-hunting mode. i have been through several interviews, exams and what-not. i have been turned down by one software company, which unfortunately was one that i was really looking forward to be working for. i have turned down offers from another company because i realized that working on a contractual basis is not my thing. right now i am just now waiting for job offers from two companies: one is a local start-up software company and the other is a US-based consultation firm. hopefully at least one of those would turn out okay.

there are still a lot of stories in between. a couple of new places i have been to, some new things i bought, saw a lot of great movies (i totally loved 500 Days of Summer), listened to some new music (The 88 rocks), obsessing with some new TV shows (The Big Bang Theory never fails to make me laugh my ass off), reading thru some new graphic novels and books (Y: The Last Man if awesome).

hopefully i would be able to update this blog as frequent as i did before. i feel like some big changes are coming this year, and hopefully i could document as many as i can here.

...

sometimes i wonder how much more can a person do to redeem himself or how many more times can a person show that he has changed or how much length does a person has to go through just to get have the trust that have been lost.

i have done some shit in my life, things that have hurt people i love, things that i have regretted doing. i know, it doesn't change the fact that i was an asshole. but goddammit, i have been trying so hard ever since to make up for all of it.

it's so hard when everything you do seems half-full to the person you want to show it to. everything seems not enough, there is always something wrong about it. something's not done right, something's not said right. but because you're on the wrong side, you just have to suck it all up. say to yourself that you deserve it, you fucked up and you have to endure it. try again next time.

but for how long? for how much longer?

i don't want to end up thinking that all that i have been trying to do is for nothing. i don't want to end up giving it all up. i was never a quitter. i always try to suck it up and try again. i don't want to feel like this is all i am going to do for the rest of my life, trying to prove myself.

so, how much more can a person do to redeem himself?

you get what you deserve. or so they say..

ayon sa kasabihan, "kung ano ang itinanim, s'yang aanihin." pero sa nangyari sa akin noong isang araw, parang ang lahat ng itinanim at pinaghirapan ko nitong mga nagdaang taon sa aking trabaho ay napunta lang sa wala.

marahil, masyadong mabigat na sabihin ko na "napunta sa wala". marami naman akong natutunan simula ng pumasok ako sa pinagtatrabahuhan ko ngayon. hindi lang sa mga aspetong teknikal (na importante sa isang I.T. professional), pati na rin mga patungkol sa kung papaano maging isang mahusay na empleyado (salamat sa aking project manager para dito). pero sa nangyari noong isang araw, ang pakiramdam ko (hanggang ngayon), lahat ng pinaghirapan ko ay nawalan ng saysay.

marahil iniisip ng iba na masyado kong dinaramdam ang nangyari; pero para sa akin, dapat ko s'yang damdamin! mabuti sana kung alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ako karapat-dapat! mabuti sana kung alam ko (at ng mga taong naka-trabaho ko) na hindi ko pinaghirapan at pinagbutihan ang mga ginagawa ko! and i didn't just worked hard, i fucking excelled at what i was doing!

at ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung ano ang susunod kong mga hakbang. hindi ko alam kung ipapagpatuloy ko pa ang laban na ito o subukan ko ng makipag-sapalaran sa iba. maraming bagay na dapat pag-isipan pa ng maigi. maraming oras pa na dapat pagmuni-munihan. sana maisip ko ang tamang gawin.

pero sa ngayon, gusto ko lang muna magalit. hanggang sa maubos. para pagbalik ko sa trabaho sa lunes ay makausap na ako ng maayos ng mga tao. para pagbalik ko sa trabaho sa lunes, ipamumukha ko sa kanila na nagkamali sila sa desisyong ginawa nila.