sometimes i wonder how much more can a person do to redeem himself or how many more times can a person show that he has changed or how much length does a person has to go through just to get have the trust that have been lost.
i have done some shit in my life, things that have hurt people i love, things that i have regretted doing. i know, it doesn't change the fact that i was an asshole. but goddammit, i have been trying so hard ever since to make up for all of it.
it's so hard when everything you do seems half-full to the person you want to show it to. everything seems not enough, there is always something wrong about it. something's not done right, something's not said right. but because you're on the wrong side, you just have to suck it all up. say to yourself that you deserve it, you fucked up and you have to endure it. try again next time.
but for how long? for how much longer?
i don't want to end up thinking that all that i have been trying to do is for nothing. i don't want to end up giving it all up. i was never a quitter. i always try to suck it up and try again. i don't want to feel like this is all i am going to do for the rest of my life, trying to prove myself.
so, how much more can a person do to redeem himself?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
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1 ang umangal:
been there, done that. maybe the difference is that i suffered from other's mistake. i lost their trust despite the fact that i've done nothing. i guess some people become traumatic that they don't trust anyone, including me. how long? NO ONE CAN TELL. it really depends on the weight of the situation. just keep going. don't give up. one day you'll prove yourself. and on that day you don't need to say a word.
i wish you a peace of mind.
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